Childhood fears are common and normal. In fact, fear helps children learn to assess risk and stay safe. Different fears typically show up at different ages. Some examples include:

Toddlers & preschoolers: Fear of the dark, separation from parents, loud noises, animals, snakes, imaginary creatures. For preschoolers, dreams (and nightmares) are very real.

Early elementary years: Fear of animals, storms and disasters, getting lost, or being alone.

Later childhood: Fear of injury, illness, social rejection, criminals, older kids, parental anger, or performance situations. Fears can also grow out of ideas suggested by what they see, like in movies or on television.

Even if the fear is normal, monsters can drum up some big feelings in kids – and helping them navigate those feelings falls to parents and caregivers. When childhood fears become overwhelming or start interfering with daily life, it’s important to know how to help.

How to Help

It’s important to keep in mind that most childhood fears are temporary and improve with reassurance, experience, and maturity. Some helpful steps to take include:

• Validate, don’t dismiss. Remember that the fear is very real to your child. Instead of saying, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” acknowledge what they are feeling: “I can see that feels scary to you, let’s figure it out together.” This builds trust and helps children learn to regulate their emotions.
• Don’t over-accommodate. Comfort is a natural parental instinct and while important, consistently helping a child avoid what they fear can unintentionally reinforce the anxiety. For example, always sleeping in a child’s room because they’re afraid of monsters may strengthen the belief that they can’t handle nighttime alone. Instead, you can give them a nightlight and let them know you’ll check in periodically. If the fear is a doctor visit, try role-playing before the appointment. If it’s a fear of dogs, have them practice standing near – but not touching – a calm dog and slowly move toward touching as they become more comfortable.
• Teach calming skills. There are simple calming exercises and tools that can work now and that children can carry throughout their development:
  • Slow belly breathing (“smell the flower, blow bubbles”).
  • Naming five things they can see and hear (grounding).
  • Visualizing a “brave moment” before facing a fear.
  Nature walks and asking questions about what they see, hear, and feel on the walk can also help. The more children practice these skills during calm moments, the easier they are to use during stressful ones.
• Be mindful of your own reactions. Children often take emotional cues from adults. If you tense up around dogs or talk frequently about medical fears, kids may absorb that anxiety. It’s also important to be honest; for example, if your child is afraid of shots, don’t say it won’t hurt. Instead, offer choices, like which arm do they want it in, offering to hold their hand, or letting them listen to music. Modeling calm, confident behavior can be its own reassurance to a child – and praise their efforts later.

When Your Help is Not Enough

It’s a good idea to keep your pediatrician in the loop about your children’s fears and phobia; they can help guide you if the child should be diagnosed with a specific phobia and get outside help if self-guided exercises aren’t working. Other treatments, such as Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT), may be helpful in providing structured support and coping strategies. A mental health or healthcare provider can also determine if medication is warranted to reduce anxiety and panic in some cases.

Bravely Growing, Step by Step

It’s important that caregivers and children both understand that childhood fears aren’t a sign of weakness; instead, they provide opportunities to build resilience. With patience, empathy, and small courageous steps, most kids learn that the “monster” loses power when faced with support and skill.